LAGER. AGA. SAGA. GAGA.

The normal four stage progression of accepted adult ageing can be described in the above our words. But what about the bloke who looks after himself? What does he do if he is unable to train? Due to a nasty lingering chest infection I have been unable to swim, bike or run for the last 5 long weeks. It has brought it home to me just how much I enjoy training and challenging myself physically 5 or 6 times a week. I feel like an alcoholic who can’t find the booze. I feel like a drug addict who can’t get his next fix.

I have been incredibly healthy all year (apart from suspect back, which I am going to conveniently ignore). The wheels came off at the end of September, I had raced our Super Sprint Try-athlon at Benone Beach which gave me a real high. I had then launched into the Concept II Ergometer Rowing machine on the Monday night determined to beat 20 mins. for 5K (I made it with 9 secs. to spare). On the Tuesday I noticed my 100 metre swim reps in the pool fall apartalarmingly and I went out and got a good soaking on the mountain bike on the Wednesday and that was the start of the downfall.

Two courses of antibiotics and one chest x-ray later I still can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel – and if I could, it probably would be a train coming. I have fooled myself into believing that going to the gym and just pushing weights about doesn’t actually count as training because it’s not straining the cardiovascular system. I must confess that lifting weights can become incredibly addictive very quickly. I set myself (I have no idea why) the challenge of lifting and shifting 5 tonnes in a single session. I first found out that my max bench press was 80Kgs. not 85, not 82, not 81 but 80. I read that you should train at 30% of your max for lots and lots of reps. An ‘O’ Level in maths enabled me to work this out at 24 kgs. (except I then put 37 kgs on the bar but no matter). You then try to push that mother of a loaded bar into the air for 15 reps. then wait 30 secs. then do it again, then do it again, then do it again..... The 15 reps quickly became 10 as the arms began to burn. Apparently the exercise doesn’t actually do your muscles any good until you go to “failure” i.e. you can’t lift it one more time. I tried to explain to the very helpful Johnny Shirley, in the Roe Valley Leisure Gym that I just don’t “Do failure”. We always focus on not being defeated by anything but the principal behind the concept is that the muscle only learns when it has been tested and found wanting so that the next time it faces the same challenge, aided by rest, it is stronger and better prepared, so working on a lighter weight I began to remorselessly push that bar up and doing sets of ten until I had lifted 5 tonnes i.e. 5 x 1,000 kgs. I just about made the last set. OK I couldn’t actually lift a pen up off the desk the next day in the office but it was worth the feeling of satisfaction and that warm glow of accomplishment.

I have subsequently tried to become slightly more sophisticated in my lifting and varied the programme to incorporate John’s recommendations. Both Johnny and Willard are very good at creating an individual programme for you. Mine involves the seated row, ab crunches on the Swedish ball and on the rack, dumb bells from the waist to the chest and into the air, parallel dips on the bar etc. There is still so much to learn and so little time!

When I am in the gym I see my good friends, who are some of Limavady’s finest athletes doing their own stuff. There is man mountain Gully McLaughlin lifting weights the rest of us could just fantasise about. There is Colin Loughery getting obsessive about the Concept II and setting PB’s every week. There is Peter Cole banging out fast times on the running machine. It is inspiring and invigorating to see these guys in action and what can I do about it when I am still under the weather? Not very much at all.

Being unable to train does give you more time to ruminate, to reflect and to read – and to watch DVD’s. I have just finished the entire series 7 of the West Wing (best political drama out of the States ever) all 22 episodes in a week as the fictional politician Mat Santos became the first President from a minority background and at the same time I was watching the drama of the real USA elections unfolding. When a community organiser without any support from the South side of Chicago, a guy who describes himself as a “mutt”, is able to become the World’s top dog with the slogan of “Yes we Can”, it makes you reconsider what we can do as athletes. I was talking to someone during the week who did her first ever marathon – New York – and she finished in under 5 hours with little athletic background. I met Springwell’s four dashing damsels, Fran McFadden, Catherine Butcher and two girls doing their first ever marathon, Anne Bonnar and Ella Loughery and they are already talking about their next one! Whether it’s Barack Obama or these local girls it is an encouragement to us all to get out the back door and do Something Physical. Whether Change Is Going To Come according to Martin Luther King or “Yes We Can” we can all achieve extraordinary accomplishments.

Not being able to train makes one set oneself the daftest of challenges. I can tell you that my personal best for emptying a dish washer is now 4 mins. and 14 secs! OK some of the plates might have a few chips around the edges from being fired into the cupboard but hey, a PB is a PB!

Roxy my dog is looking knackered as I am walking her that much. I can’t run, but surely I can still walk? Then I remembered that I had a surgical procedure carried out on my foot and I couldn’t actually put my foot to the ground. They say trouble comes in droves, not just ones or twos! I might as well get all of my physical ailments out the way at the same time.

When I am out walking I realise what a beautiful countryside we have, whether it’s the swirling rapids and tumbling dappled browny yellow leaves in the autumnal County Park, or the strong fresh fir trees in the Cam Forest, we are surrounded by a welter of stunning vistas. I received inspiration for another athletic event when out last week in the bit of the Springwell Forest between the Ringsend Road and the Coleraine Limavady mountain road. There was a hill which just goes on and on. We do it in the 5 Forest Ride on mountain bikes and it takes me 8 mins. I have an idea for a mountain bike hill climb over the Christmas period. There will be a £50.00 first prize for first man and first woman and the riders will go off 1 min. apart. It is at least 1 kilometre of a lung bursting, leg busting, head pounding uphill sprint which will actually feel like a marathon. It goes up towards the sky with your front wheel practically lifting off the ground and when you think it’s nearly over there are a few corners left with yet another sting in the tail. Personally I can’t wait! Before that we have the legendary Wo/Man –v- Bike -v- Horse in the Cam Forest on Sunday the 15th December, a race which presages for me the start of the Christmas season. I hope, dear reader, that you are not going to train on Christmas day because like Daley Thompson – I am! I will be sneaking in an extra session hoping that my rivals aren’t.

Having a lot of time on your hands makes you read some trivial stuff. For instance I have just read that Manchester United and a few other top clubs have appointed a “Sleep Guru”. No honest, it’s not an April fool. They employ a specialist who advises players on how to sleep better (“Wayne, trust me you will sleep better if you turn the light off first”). The genius who dreamt (if you will pardon the pun) up this nice little earner is Nick Littlehales. The Club also has an expert on mattresses from California who advises the Theatre of Dreams’ finest on which type of mattress for the optimum rest. The importance of better quality and longer sleep is being increasingly recognised in sport. Studies at Stanford University in the USA recently showed swimmers and basket ball players reporting higher energy levels after their sleep patterns where improved. Nick encourages players to sleep naked in bed (healthier) and not to put the duvet over their head (unhealthy) which apparently 12% of the population do – the dust mites get into the respiratory system easier (dam! maybe that’s what happened me!). Arsenal’s former physio Gary Lewis, now in charge of the England players, has observed “The quality of sleep you have can be as important as your training in today’s world of top professional sport”.

Sharing the house with two teenagers who don’t actually believe in going to bed on the same day as they get up can prevent you from getting the requisite 8 hours. As a nation we now have 24/7 TV, the Internet, the computer thingy and the IPOD to give us various reasons to avoid rest. It makes me laugh when people tell me they don’t have the time to train, but they will find all the time in the world to catch up on the latest soaps. It has however given me a great idea, instead of training I could just practice sleeping! “Are you going to the Gym Pete?” “No, I am doing something even more beneficial – I am going to bed”. Hey, if I can’t swim, bike or run, I could perhaps give my battered system an opportunity of replenishing itself and recharging those batteries. I could be the new Sleep King!

I have just started the “Survival of the Fittest” by Dr. Mike Stroud, a guy who has been to the Arctic, the Antarctic and pushes himself beyond all recognised physical and mental limits. He ended up running 7 Marathons in 7 Continents in 7 Days. Even my good friends Robert Robb and Peter Ferris might baulk that one! He gives a fascinating insight into what can be achieved if your body is ready to push itself time and time again. I was talking to Peter during the week (311 marathons and counting) and he is training to take on both the Antarctic marathon and the 100 K Ultra Run at the bottom of the world 3 days later and thereby enter the Guinness Book of Records along with his good friend Wayne Pollock to be the first guys to finish those two races plus the Arctic Marathon in the same calendar year.

When asked about hitting the wall and the subsequent pain barriers, Peter’s answer was quite simple – “Ignore it, push through it and deal with the next pain barrier when you reach it and then keep pushing again”.

If Peter Ferris can run 10 marathons this year despite being knocked off his bike and if Barack Obama can aspire to win the highest office in the free world, then “YES WE CAN AND YES I CAN AND YES YOU CAN!

Just get out there friends and make your dreams a reality.
See you in the gym.


I will be the one under the Bench Press, thirsty for a Lager, Dreaming of an Aga, awaiting Saga, praying I never go Gaga.....